Entering Turtle Land

Thank you, Shirley...

2012-01-21T19:17:00.000-08:00

Seal heads are dark corks
dozens bobbing above the golden mirror
of the sea, reflecting me too
in their calm unworried eyes

As sky deepens to indigo, then purple,
bodies and drift wood merge into black silhouettes.
Star-silvered waves leave their footprints
and talk to me in quiet hisses
i listen. i listen.
"We are sisters of the sea" they say

~ Shirley Tudor

* * *
[written sometime in 2003]

They sing and dance

2012-01-17T15:49:00.000-08:00

Listening to the letters

2012-01-09T13:59:00.000-08:00

We need space, they say.
That's why we do not touch.

....Alef-Bet-Gimmel-Hay....

We need to be close enough --
To whisper in your heart

All day.

As you breathe, we breathe
in the white spaces
Where all color forms.

~ Nicole Raisin Stern

The Seven of Pentacles

2011-12-24T16:41:00.000-08:00

Under a sky the color of pea soup
she is looking at her work growing away there
actively, thickly like grapevines or pole beans
as things grow in the real world, slowly enough.
If you tend them properly, if you mulch, if you water,

if you provide birds that eat insects a home and winter food,

if the sun shines and you pick off caterpillars,
if the praying mantis comes and the ladybugs and the bees,
then the plants flourish, but at their own internal clock.

Connections are made slowly, sometimes they grow underground.
You cannot tell always by looking what is happening.
More than half the tree is spread out in the soil under your feet.
Penetrate quietly as the earthworm that blows no trumpet.
Fight persistently as the creeper that brings down the tree.
Spread like the squash plant that overruns the garden.
Gnaw in the dark and use the sun to make sugar.

Weave real connections, create real nodes, build real houses.
Live a life you can endure: Make love that is loving.
Keep tangling and interweaving and taking more in,
a thicket and bramble wilderness to the outside but to us
interconnected with rabbit runs and burrows and lairs.

Live as if you liked yourself, and it may happen:

reach out, keep reaching out, keep bringing in.

This is how we are going to live for a long time: not always,
for every gardener knows that after the digging, after
the planting,
after the long season of tending and growth, the harvest comes.

~ Marge Piercy ~

from the Universe this morning

2011-12-20T08:52:00.000-08:00

"The top 10 things dead people want to tell
living people, Nicole, are:

1. They're not dead.
2. They're sorry for any pain they caused.
3. There's no such thing as a devil or hell.
4. They were ready to go when they went.
5. You're not ready.
6. They finally understand what they were missing.
7. Nothing can prepare you for the beauty of the moment you arrive.
8. Don't try to understand this now, but life is exceedingly fair.
9. Your pets are as crazy, brilliant and loving, here, as they were there.
10. Life really is all about love, but not just loving those who love you...

In their own words,
The Universe

They also wanted you to know that they really do show up as orbs in some of your photos, Nicole, but so does water. Quite a talkative bunch."

A Lotus for You, Sea Turtle

2011-12-15T15:18:00.000-08:00

Thank you, Shirley, for teaching me this song and for singing it with me. What a precious gift to have sung it with you.

*
Whenever I wake up
I feel happy,
aware of my eyes
I feel happy,
aware of my health
I feel happy,
because I have learned to look deeply.
whenever I walk
I feel happy
whenever I sit
I feel happy,
whenever I rest
I feel happy,
because I have learned to look deeply.

~words by Thich Nhat Hanh

from ~ A basket full of plums: Songs for the practice of mindfulness
*

Shirley finishing up one of her sketches at Morgan's where we stopped to have tea and hot cocoa during our "Sketch Crawl" day in Monterey, December, 2005.

From my flickr journal, January, 2006: "My friend, Shirley, and I went to Pho King in Seaside last night for dinner. While we were waiting for our pho to arrive, I took out my ball point pen and began doing a contour drawing on the white paper placemat. I see white paper, I draw. At home, I colored it in with my colored pencils. The arc marks on her face are from my pho bowl."

Shirley on the steps of the Osio Theatre on Alvarado St. in Monterey showing off our 2nd sketches of the day of a "Sketch Crawl", December 2005.

Shirley, the ever-curious nature lover, botanist, with a fallen giant saguaro at Saguaro National Monument in Tucson on her trip to visit us (me, dog Yuki and cat Jesse) in Tucson, December, 2002.

L-R: Anna, Nicole, and Shirley in front of the President's Office at Monterey Institute of International Studies. Spring, 2005

Shirley and I met at a six-day Thich Nhat Hanh Meditation retreat in August of 2002. We were roommates at the retreat, and dharma sisters.

Shirley Tudor

September 1, 1962 ~ December 10, 2011

Hey there!

2011-12-15T12:29:00.000-08:00

Teapot no. 56 (556) of my 6th Set of "100 Teapots"

Beautiful soft rainy day today

2011-12-12T10:56:00.000-08:00

We have thousands of opportunities every day to be grateful: for having good weather, to have slept well last night, to be able to get up, to be healthy, to have enough to eat. ... There's opportunity upon opportunity to be grateful; that's what life is.

Brother David Steindl-Rast

(from today's Word for the Day, December 12, 2011: Gratefulness.org)

* * *

And as Thầy (Thich Nhat Hanh) always reminds us, let's be grateful for our non-toothache.

Contemplating Community

2011-12-09T11:05:00.000-08:00

Building Your Bond Community

From Lynn McTaggart

(http://www.lynnemctaggart.com/blog/154-raise-a-barn-and-reclaim-your-life):

A task of the week to rebuild your own community

Group goals

Begin with a model of community unity—a society in which all members are working toward collective and unified good. Once you truly understand that you are all one, the decisions you have to make must always be for the good of all, and not simply for the people in charge, or those you like, or even those who think the way that you do.

Try to frame every decision in terms of its impact on your community and environment as a whole. If someone wishes to clean up something in the community, will it beautify the community as a whole? Does your work enhance or detract from your community? Are you educating your children to ‘give back’ or just ‘take’?

Create a list of each your group’s ‘Resources’ and ‘Needs.’ What talents, supplies or general resources do each of you have available to the community? What specific needs do you believe your neighborhood or the community has? Can you see which talents and resources could prove most useful?

Invite different groups — doctors, members of your local police force, educators — to visit your group. Explore with them ideas of reinforcing the Bond.

Apportion a certain number of hours per week with your group toward working on improving your community. Volunteer to work in your local school, or visit other companies based in your community, exploring these ideas and how organizations can adopt them.

Study yourself and your true needs and invite your group members to do the same. How much do you really need? How many new gadgets, how many new cars? What else can you do with your money?

Vow as a group to avoid individual ostentation. Take a leaf from the success of Roseto, which had one of the lowest heart attack rates in America. Such was the sense of solidarity that ostentation was strictly discouraged and jealousy consequently minimized. Although rich and poor lived together, side by side, the rich did not flaunt it. Roseto was flushed with a clear sense of common purpose.

Also vow to avoid competition with people in your community (unless on the sports field or bowling alley). Does it really matter if someone makes more money than you do? Chances are, they still face similar challenges to you. Also refuse to engage in schadenfreude—taking delight in someone else’s misfortune—and replace it with the Buddhist idea of mudita, or happiness in someone’s good fortune.

Peace Is the Way

2011-11-11T10:51:00.000-08:00

"There is no way to peace, peace is the way" ~ A. J. Muste

Toasting those dancing plants and pets

2011-11-07T14:18:00.000-08:00

If It Is Not Too Dark

Go for a walk, if it is not too dark.

Get some fresh air, try to smile.

Say something kind

To a safe-looking stranger, if one happens by.

Always exercise your heart's knowing.

You might as well attempt something real

Along this path:

Take your spouse or lover into your arms

The way you did when you first met.

Let tenderness pour from your eyes

The way the Sun gazes warmly on the earth.

Play a game with some children.

Extend yourself to a friend.

Sing a few ribald songs to your pets and plants --

Why not let them get drunk and wild!

Let's toast

Every rung we've climbed on Evolution's ladder.

Whisper, "I love you! I love you!"

To the whole mad world.

Let's stop reading about God--

We will never understand Him.

Jump to your feet, wave your fists,

Threaten and warn the whole Universe

That your heart can no longer live

Without real love!

~ Hafiz

(I Heard God Laughing: Poems Of Hope And Joy

Renderings of Hafiz by Daniel Ladinsky)

Sukkah life

2011-10-04T15:59:00.000-07:00

I have copied and posted the following article from Union for Reform Judaism for my reference/archive for future writing and artwork that I will do. I have much first-hand experience in living within a sukkah and with great faith and trust that I am always Divinely supported. We all are.

"During the days of Sukkot, tabernacles, our tradition calls us to leave the security and comfort of our homes and to live in transitional and fragile huts in memory of the journey of the Israelites through the Sinai desert on their way to the Promised Land. The sukkah is an intriguing symbol of faith; as we sit in the sukkah, with only leaves for a roof, exposed to the wind, the rain and the cold, we become aware of our fragility in the face of the forces of nature and our dependence on it."

* * *

The Sukkah: An Intriguing symbol of Faith
By Yehudit Werchow
Discuss on Our Blog

“You shall live in booths seven days; all citizens of Israel shall live in booths, in order that future generations may know that I made the Israelite people live in booths when I brought them out of the land of Egypt, I the Lord your God”. (Leviticus 23:42-43)

During the days of Sukkot, tabernacles, our tradition calls us to leave the security and comfort of our homes and to live in transitional and fragile huts in memory of the journey of the Israelites through the Sinai desert on their way to the Promised Land.

The sukkah is an intriguing symbol of faith; as we sit in the sukkah, with only leaves for a roof, exposed to the wind, the rain and the cold, we become aware of our fragility in the face of the forces of nature and our dependence on it. Sukkot also symbolizes the moment in the agricultural year cycle when we celebrate and enjoy the fruits of our summer’s hard labor. Enjoying the fruits of our hard labor is a gratifying experience. Our society today is not primarily agricultural but we can still relate to these ideas metaphorically and drew some relevant insights for our times. This fascinating juxtaposition between feeling empowered and vulnerable creates a healthy tension that protects us from vanity and teaches us a lesson in modesty. It can also teach us how to be good hosts. While guests are an important part of the Jewish home all year round, they are even more so during Sukkot. We are commanded to celebrate with the members of our community and especially with those who are more vulnerable and deprived. Once the comfort of sitting in the sukkah is challenged by the weather, hosts become aware of their own vulnerability and the differences between hosts and guests blur. These insights are subtle reminders that the ties that could unite us are stronger and richer that the conditions that differentiate us from each other. We should cherish this message by creating together opportunities for genuine encounters. One of the rituals of Sukkot that originated from the Zohar is to host in our sukkah the ushpizin. The ushpizin (“guests”) are seven symbolic guests who come to visit us in the sukkah, one for each of the seven days of the festival: Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Moses, Aaron, Joseph, and King David. These symbolic guests enrich our sukkah with the presence of the Jewish tradition. The presence of the symbolic and human guests in our sukkah is a vivid testament to the power of the human spirit to survive - even thrive - in the midst of uncertainty. When the Israelites traveled in the desert God protected them and “made the Israelite people live in booth”. With every gust that we welcome in our sukkah we reenact this episode thus fulfilling our Jewish calling.

“A Jewish man remembers the Sukkah in his grandfather's home.
And the Sukkah remembers for him
The wandering in the desert that remembers
The grace of youth and the Tablets of the Ten Commandments
And the gold of the Golden Calf and the thirst and the hunger
That remember Egypt.”

(“The Jews” by Yehuda Amicahi)

Sukkot is also a reminder of the journey of the Israelites through the Sinai desert on their way to the Promised Land. The sukkah is a transitional home, and as such it reminds us of our journey, its experiences, its challenges and its accomplishment, and above all its destination. How present is Israel in our experience during Sukkot?

The journey to Israel has been a spiral journey for many Jews; and with every visit we deepen our connection to Israel and its people. Like the Israelites during their journey, we experience moments of strong connection to and yearning for Israel and at times we have doubts and feel perplexed. But we know that we should always be on this journey to Israel. As Yehuda Amichai reminds us in his poem, Sukkot is also a moment of revisiting our history as individuals, allowing the history of our family to resonate with us. Through these memories and experiences, we strengthen the connections between the People of Israel, God and Israel.

Yehudit Werchow is the Central Shlicha of the Union for Reform Judaism and a student in the Israel Rabbinic Program of Hebrew Union College.

Wonderful and full of wonder

2011-09-21T19:38:00.000-07:00

More views of Amitabha Stupa in Sedona as seen by my eyes-heart-mind. It's a fragrant location with the scent of juniper and pine, warm desert air, and the embrace of the red rocks. There are prickly pear and yellow mesquite beans, too!

Amitabha Stupa

2011-09-16T15:35:00.000-07:00

Two new paintings of expansion and light:

I enjoyed painting these at the beautiful site of the Amitabha Stupa in Sedona.

Little yellow flowers

2011-09-06T12:08:00.000-07:00

I enjoy taking the time to look at flowers. Looking deeply requires stopping and slowing down. When I slow down, I can enjoy anything from a still place in my heart and my heart opens up to the world all around me. Most of all, stopping and slowing down allows me to be in touch with the most essential 'form' of my/our being: Breath. Breath gives me/us life.

As I bicycled back from the Grand Canyon, I was wanting to stay very present, very aware, very safe as I rode. So, to help me stay focused and present, I sang these words: "stay with your heart". The words arose in me and I played with the sounds until it felt right. At first I said, "stay with THE heart", but it felt a little off. When I substituted "YOUR" for "the", it felt perfect.

* The photo is of little yellow flowers at the South Rim of the Grand Canyon

Tree of Life

2011-09-05T19:19:00.000-07:00

I took a lot of photos at the Grand Canyon and this is one of my favorites. I like the shimmer and shine of this pine and it is near where I met Tasha, a sweet American Eskimo-Border Collie dog, and her lovely human, Annie. I was walking along the rim trail looking for just the right spot to spread Yuki's remaining ashes. I had him in a little baggy in my shorts pocket. Now he's part of the vast Canyon. Very thankful for the presence of Tasha and Annie for the kisses and petting I was able to give Tasha and the wide open understanding smile and conversation that Annie gifted me when I burst into tears upon seeing Tasha. Tasha is a blend of American Eskimo and Border Collie. She looks a lot like Yuki, who was an American Eskimo dog. They both looked easily and deeply into my eyes, and me theirs.

2011-08-30T20:14:00.000-07:00

I am opening like this flower. We all are, petal by petal, in a blossoming symphony.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Breathing in, Breathing out,

Breathing in, Breathing out,

I am blooming as a flower,

I am fresh as the dew.

I am solid as a mountain,

I am firm as the earth,

I am free."

"Breathing in, Breathing out,

Breathing in, Breathing out,

I am water reflecting

What is real, what is true.

And I feel there is a space

Deep inside of me,

I am free, I am free, I am free."

(A sweet gatha/song from the Plum Village Song Book - Thich Nhat Hanh Sangha)

Celebrating, I am, this wonderful place to write

2011-08-28T20:58:00.000-07:00

I have a fortuitous history of having learned from brilliant teachers, both so-called spiritual ones and academic ones. And sometimes, the two have come together in a teacher and not just two things but a multiplicity of things, the things that make us multi-faceted beings. Things like creativity and patience, kindness and flexibility, all combined with great humour and unique presence. What prompted these words is a remembrance of my Hindu Literature teacher at University of Arizona (where I studied East Asian Studies and received a Bachelor of Arts in Japanese Thought and Religion). Dr. Chandola brought Hindu Literature to life with stories he told from the Mahabharata and the Ramayana, the Upanishads, Kalidasa's MeghaDhutam (or Cloud Dancer), and with illustrations from the Theory of Rasa-Bhava and Shakuntala. All this came to me in a flash just now. Mostly, I was thinking of a single sentence Dr. Chandola had spoken to illustrate the need for settledness for the arts in civilization to flourish, for the cultivation of the thing we call the arts.

I have been living in many places since February of 2009. I have been able to create art consistently as I travel; I sell and trade my paintings for fresh organic produce at farmers' markets and for the US and Japanese currency that I have needed to use for buying other things (while travelling in the U.S. and in Japan). Along the way, I have taken to heart the saying written on the back of our paper money: "In God We Trust", and I do. In these last six months, especially, I have experienced that I am always in the right place at the right time (as I have always been), that my home is in my heart, and that I take each step confidently, knowing that I am wholly supported and loved.

Presently, I am enjoying a friend's home where I have a place to write and use a computer. As I travel, I have been able to use the public and university library system to connect to the internet and to share my art. My own laptop "crashed" in December just after I wrote about wishing for a break from the internet and from all the complexities of the electronics and social media that I was living with and using. Yet another example to be careful and caring with the thoughts I cultivate! Tomorrow, I plan to ride to the Grand Canyon from Flagstaff. I will go on my touring bicycle, Seedling, the Kona Ute. It is another step for me toward expansiveness, into the unknown, following my heart, and knowing I am home.

Simultaneously, I am feeling, conjuring, visualizing, and creating ~ with heart ~ images and sensations of the perfect home for me in which to cultivate the art, writing, creativity, and, beauty that flows out of me. From me to you, for all, for the unique expression that comes through me as me and that benefits the world.

In the meantime, thank you, for this place to write!

Reverberations of Love: What Turtle Told Me

2011-08-28T15:51:00.000-07:00

Several years ago, when I was teaching pots for tots, we were making turtles, one of my favorite projects. I had been taking the colorfully glazed turtles out of the kiln when a forest green turtle leapt onto my back. She tapped me on my shoulder and said, "Nicole, I would like to tell you a story that my grandmother told me. Do you have time right now to listen?" "Yes," I said, "I have a few minutes before the tots come."

The following story is what she told me, to the best of my recollection:

"Once upon a time in a very ancient valley surrounded by jagged high mountains, there lived an order of turtles. The turtles were known to all far and wide as the guard turtles. The guard turtles offered protection to the villages and monasteries, day and night. From birth, each guard turtle received training in recognizing, playing with, and controlling the life energy that moves within us and animates us all. The ultimate aim of such training was to become a clear channel and transmitter of love vibrations."

"These love vibrations are also known as Life Force, Loving-Kindness - metta, prana, and qi, etc. The guard turtles spent their days sending out metta in circles around the walls of the monastery and village. When a "stranger" approached, even if the stranger's intent was to harm (which the turtles could sense), the guards increased their flow of loving vibrations. Without taking up weapons in defense, the turtles focused on greeting the heart of the stranger with Love. These strong metta vibrations had the effect of causing the stranger with unwholesome intent to flee."

As turtle finished the story, I heard the door of the studio open and with it an influx of bubbly young energies. I thanked turtle and turning to go, asked if that was all she wanted to tell me.

"There is one more thing," she continued. "Please listen closely." I nodded.

"We can effect weather patterns and Earth energies with our practice of sending out Loving-Kindness."

"Remember, the Earth is a living being and the manipulation of Life Energies is vital." "What we do to another, whether s/he is a plant, an animal, space, the ground we walk on, a human, or a fish in the sea, etcetera, we do to ourselves; our every thought, deed, word, and action will cause reverberations." "Let's love everything; it is time."

"Yes," I said, glancing up at the clock, "It is time - and, I need to go! Bye, now, Turtle, and Thank You!"

I could hear laughing and little voices coming from the studio as I carried in a tray of shiny glazed turtles.

Wild thing, you make my heart sing

2011-08-27T22:58:00.000-07:00

I am listening to Bach's Concerto for Oboe d'Amore. A cool breeze is balancing out the heat emitted from the desk lamp above the keyboard where I write this entry. I've been reading through my blog these past couple of nights and, I must say, I have been delighted and moved by my own writing. I laugh, cry, and feel my heart inflate like a feathery bird's chest plumps out in the winter cold. It was Yuki and Jesse that made my heart plump up like that (and little Bodhi) and these words I had written about them produce the same sensation. Yukester, Jesster... I wonder what I will call my new animals when they come to me? I know they will find me when all the conditions are sufficient; things always work out that way.

Here's a Concerto for Pyrrhuloxia d'Amore. It, too, expands my heart.

** Pyrrhuloxia (desert cardinal), seen at the Arizona-Sonora Desert Museum in Tucson

Thistles and volcanic earth under my feet

2011-08-26T20:49:00.000-07:00

I went for a short walk this evening, walking up the road on a hill of volcanic earth. All day, the clouds filtered the Sun and droplets of rain fell upon the ground. I'd look out every now and then to check the moisture content in the darker wet color of earth and to observe the big sky full of grey and white clouds. The Peaks are still familiar to me; they are my friends, though we have both changed some in the intervening 30-odd years since I've lived here and walked through her tinkling Aspen groves.

A clump of thistles caught my eye as I walked back to the house where I am staying; each periwinkle thistle head was illuminated and glowing with the yellow-white radiance of sunset light. I don't know what moved me to tears as I sensed the thistles and light... I do know that I laughed just seconds later and that I allowed a memory of Yuki walking with me to fill my heart to near bursting -- Yuki, sniffing everything as we meander together in the last rays of light. There we were, crunching pebbles and red dust under paw and rubber flip-flop, past prickly pear and mesquite, past slender palo verde, vibrantly green, dodging miniature teradactyls in the now cooler night air. Jesse would have been waiting for us inside; our silky black kitty with her pointy black ears attuned to our approaching footsteps.

I welcomed myself home to a home I am visiting for a short while and glanced up to the Peaks all aglow with orange light. I decide I want to write something in my blog. Something. This. The thistles. The light. The light in my heart, and that I am never alone. My favorite response on my bicycle trip to people who ask, "Are you alone?" is "no, I am never alone." And this is true.

A Day of Silence

2011-08-26T10:52:00.000-07:00

Watercolor and fountain pen ink on handmade Sri Lankan paper.

Hafiz poem translated by Daniel Ladinsky (I Heard God Laughing)

Milagro tea

2011-07-25T10:42:00.000-07:00

Awoke to the magic of wondering, "what miracles will happen today?" These words, mixed with excitement stirred ... and went into a juicer with watermelon rinds and romaine lettuce to became my morning elixir. I breathed in - more excitement - and out - joyous calm. Swallowing more enthusiasm, I went out walking with a canine companion when two coyote friends trot by and check us out. Canine companion's ears point up to the cloudy sky. A quail family skits into the underbrush, to the shaded grove of safety that prickly pear and palo verde branches make. Baby desert hare stops in its tracks, lizard scurries behind mica-embedded rock, mourning doves coo, "hoo-hoo-hoo-hooo" and I am plucking tunas, those deep red, purple-y fruits of the prickly pear, with metal tongs, which I plop one by one into a sack. I make a tea of this and call it "milagro tea", a local blend of all that is in my path and breathing me today, in this precious moment, this infusion of Beloved elements we call life. Come, share this tea, there's an abundant supply, and miracles abound.

DoG KnOws

2011-07-13T17:40:00.000-07:00

Each morning and evening, and whenever I can, I take off my sandals and walk upon the earth. I feel refreshed with the softness of green touching the soles of my feet. There is a small area of grass near where I am staying in the desert where I can do this. Maggie, the dog who I am caring for and walking, enjoys chewing on the grasses, too; in fact, she insists on taking us there. Dog knows. God knows.

100 teapots Set 6

2011-03-10T11:38:00.000-08:00

I started my 6th set of "100 Teapots". Here are the first two in the new set.

Teapot no. 2 (502) ~ Tea with the Daibutsu in Kamakura. Colored pencil on paper.

Teapot no. 1 (501) ~ Yuki, Jesse, and Bodhi Tea Party. Colored pencil on paper.

Teapot no. 1 (501) ~ Yuki, Jesse, and Bodhi Tea Party

2011-03-08T12:35:00.000-08:00

Colored pencil on paper.

~ The adventure continues ~

Teapot no. 500 and a couple others...

2011-02-27T16:43:00.000-08:00


Teapot no. 100 ~ Butterfly & Rosemary ~ no. 500 in my 5th set of "100 Teapots"

Elephant & Mouse Tea Party ~ Teapot no. 96 (496)

Teapot no. 95 (495) ~ Jesse & Yuki Tea Party

Teapot no. 90 (490) ~ Yuki Watches Jesse & Bodhi Jumping On The Trampoline

See the entire collection of 500 teapots

teapots from Set 5

2011-02-17T14:21:00.000-08:00

Happy Year of the Rabbit (and Cat)

2011-02-02T15:57:00.000-08:00

© Nicole Raisin Stern

Teapot no. 79 (479) of my 5th set of "100 Teapots"

Cut paper and glue.

** I put the cat in because I read that it is the Year of the Cat in the Vietnamese calendar (and because Jesse hopped into the picture)**

Chúc mừng năm mới! Happy New Year! This February 3rd marks the beginning of the Vietnamese Lunar Year, Tết, the Year of the Cat =^.^=

and the Chinese New Year, the Year of the Rabbit

Teapot no. 67 (467)

2011-01-25T17:57:00.000-08:00

© Nicole Raisin Stern

teapot no. 67 (467) ~ tea with Elephant and friends from my 5th set of "100 Teapots"

Cut paper and glue with my hand-carved seal.

detail of teapot no. 67 (467):

and a photo with the tea host/model:

Ho'oponopono

2011-01-25T17:47:00.000-08:00

© Nicole Raisin Stern

Inspired by Ho'oponopono cleaning practice: Forgive me * I'm Sorry * I Love You * Thank you *

Colored pencil and fountain pen ink on paper.

Listen to a Ho'oponopono song ~ there are others on YouTube.

Activations of Awakening

2011-01-15T20:32:00.000-08:00

From Jo Dunning's website:

January 19, 2011

In an unheard of and unprecedented New Year's gift to the world, Jo Dunning will be offering by webinar the very powerful, Activations of Awakening free of charge!
This is another of Jo's amazing ways to assist everyone worldwide to begin to live a more prosperous, loving and joyful life.

Be sure your name is on the list of those who will receive the Activations. Register now for this one time only opportunity.

This year, 2011, is our final time of preparation to change our life and our consciousness before the big events of 2012.

*

THE ACTIVATIONS OF AWAKENING © are a vital combination of three Activations all offered during one workshop. The workshop includes The Pineal Gland Activation©, Endocrine System Activation© and DNA Structuring ©. The combination of these three Activations provides the opportunity for the simultaneous transformation and Awakening of all aspects of your Being, mental, physical, energetic and spiritual.

Each Activation supports, enhances and balances the energies offered in the other two Activations. The combination of the three Activations offered during one workshop has created very rapid life changes, personal growth and expansion of consciousness for those who have participated.

This event is only available to listen live, online and is not available as a replay.

Many people enjoy receiving this Activation every time it is offered and find it dramatically accelerates the benefit and changes.

more information is available at jodunning.com

2011-01-15T20:19:00.000-08:00

I love Tucson and Arizona. It is my home.

Starting inside my own heart, I send Love to my heart. Envisioning my neighbors and neighborhood, I send out Love in circles. Encompassing my city with Love energy, I radiate kindness, peace, and welcome. Tucson, Arizona is a kind place filled with loving hearts in a compassionate USA and Universe. I know that peace, hope, and Love always begin inside of me. I trust they will grow in ever expanding circles.

*

Continuing to send Love and prayers to beautiful Tucson, Arizona for the healing of all of us.

2010-12-21T15:17:00.000-08:00

The most wonderful thing to Know is that we are perfect just as we are - there's no waiting for anything else to happen or to not happen. All is Well and as it should be ~ and ~ we are Divinely supported in all ways in this very moment. This very moment is the only place that life is.

Every Good thing emerges out of Chaos

Yes

2010-12-08T20:42:00.000-08:00

I am prepared for more good than I can even imagine

Word seeds that came in sleep

2010-12-07T20:21:00.000-08:00

"Oh," said the mist to the flower petals. "I see you've come to visit me."

Teapots 46 & 47 ~ 5th Set of 100 Teapots

2010-12-07T20:08:00.000-08:00

Watercolor on hanshi.

Watercolor color and black fountain pen ink on hanshi.

friendly dragon

2010-12-05T15:21:00.000-08:00

I met this dragon on the trail yesterday...

... a friendly dragon and,

a cousin to our Unicorn friend whom we met several years ago on the trail at Point Lobos:

If you have been reading my blog for a while, you may remember my post in which the Unicorn appeared. I remember it and you can read or reread it here.

Something I Have Learned by Hafiz

2010-12-05T15:07:00.000-08:00

Water
Gets poured through a cloth
To become free of impurities.

The Beloved's Name
Is a mystical weave and pattern--

A hidden sieve of effulgence
We need to pass through thousands of
Times.

From my constant remembrance
Of the Friend,

All I now say is safe to
Drink.

Something that I have learned
From the Kind Radiant One

Who drew me from the unfathomable
Sky's well

Makes me playful all day
Long.

~ The Subject Tonight Is Love: 60 Wild and Sweet Poems of Hafiz; Daniel Ladinsky, translator.

tea in starlight

2010-12-04T09:52:00.000-08:00

I painted this one, too, by low lamplight and candle light at night. I like seeing the light in the darkness.

teapot no. 45 (445) of my 5th Set of 100 Teapots
Watercolor and black fountain pen ink on hanshi.

Light emerges

2010-11-30T20:31:00.000-08:00

© Nicole Raisin Stern
Watercolor and black fountain pen ink on hanshi.

This is teapot no. 44 (444) in my 5th set of 100 Teapots
View Set 5 here

☆☼☽

Light emerges
as it always does

Just trust
and wait

The Light is always here
even when all seems dark

~ Nicole Raisin Stern

Longing to disconnect

2010-11-28T20:12:00.000-08:00

"Before laptops" [I snapped this photo of a scene in the movie, "Kundun", while watching the dvd on my old laptop. In this scene, Kundun is playing with his music box]

* * * * * * * *

All this electronic equipment that has become an integral part of my life is feeling like too much lately - laptop, digital camera, cord to connect camera to laptop, cell phone (with camera), USB mini-chip reader for the cell phone camera, scanner-copier-printer, external hard drive, and the international plug adaptor set for my laptop. I am longing to go back to writing mostly with pen and paper, to spending more time sketching than snapping photos, and more time in real, real-time conversations with friends, than the bits and pieces of conversations via the internet.

A mere ten or eleven years ago, I only occasionally wrote an email. I first discovered blogging in the summer of 2005. Soon after, I found flickr, the photo sharing site, as a way to upload my scanned in artwork. At the time, blogger did not accept images from Macs. I would upload to flickr first, then transfer the image from flickr to blogger. Also in 2005, I was given my first digital camera, a Nikon Cool Pix E990, which was a cast-off from a friend who thought it was about to die. I resisted joining Facebook until the summer of 2009. I had received numerous Facebook invitations from friends which required signing up in order to even view their pages to see if signing up would be something I'd be interested in doing.

I like the show-and-tell aspect of the social media sites. Show-and-tell was a favorite time for me in grade school, along with recess, art, lunch, and gym. Flickr soon became a place to post my writing alongside my artwork and photos. It was also fun to receive comments from friends in many parts of the world. I enjoyed reading positive feedback on my art from other artists and photographers, often in the languages I read and write (Spanish, Japanese, French, and to a lesser degree, a few others).

On flickr, I made many new friends. On several occasions, a few of my new flickr friends visited me, Yuki, Jesse, and Bodhi at our home in Tucson. I was invited to visit a few flickr friends in their homes, too, in different states and countries. Writing and reading comments via the internet in my other languages has contributed to my ongoing acquisition and use of these languages at times when I am not actually surrounded by Spanish, French, or Japanese. I also benefit from the cyber-store function of the internet that enables me to sell my artwork via PayPal.

Now, however, I am longing to connect more with the earth. I need to hold a pen and pencil in my hands and to write in full sentences again. I want to do more face-to-face connecting than interfacing. I know, I know, the internet is convenient, has so many benefits, and a computer is thought to be indispensable. But can a laptop plant seeds in the earth to grow vegetables? Can a laptop prepare delicious wholesome food? Can a laptop emit scents that spark deeply connected human memories? Or hold a baby?

I know that the internet can plant ideas with the zillions of pieces and pages of available information to us. I can speedily find what I want to learn - I just google it. Yet, I miss the tactile looking up of things in big dictionaries, feeling the paper, smelling the moldy books, and I miss consulting with the live person (a librarian) in real-time. I prefer reading books whose covers I can hold in my hands rather than scrolling through electronic versions. And, I don't text.

What to do? I don't know. I am not looking for an answer, really. I think I will just live into the answer and experiment with short periods of disconnection to the internet on the one hand and reconnection to my more desired real-time, physical entities on the other. Or, maybe I'll google "how to disconnect from the internet and still be human" and go from there....

* * * * * * *

The Seven of Pentacles

Under a sky the color of pea soup
she is looking at her work growing away there
actively, thickly like grapevines or pole beans
as things grow in the real world, slowly enough.
If you tend them properly, if you mulch, if you water,
if you provide birds that eat insects a home and winter food,
if the sun shines and you pick off caterpillars,
if the praying mantis comes and the ladybugs and the bees,
then the plants flourish, but at their own internal clock.

Connections are made slowly, sometimes they grow underground.
You cannot tell always by looking what is happening.
More than half the tree is spread out in the soil under your feet.
Penetrate quietly as the earthworm that blows no trumpet.
Fight persistently as the creeper that brings down the tree.
Spread like the squash plant that overruns the garden.
Gnaw in the dark and use the sun to make sugar.

Weave real connections, create real nodes, build real houses.
Live a life you can endure: Make love that is loving.
Keep tangling and interweaving and taking more in,
a thicket and bramble wilderness to the outside but to us
interconnected with rabbit runs and burrows and lairs.

Live as if you liked yourself, and it may happen:
reach out, keep reaching out, keep bringing in.
This is how we are going to live for a long time: not always,
for every gardener knows that after the digging, after
the planting,
after the long season of tending and growth, the harvest comes.

~Marge Piercy

~*~

2010-11-27T11:39:00.000-08:00

TROUBLED

Troubled?
Then stay with me, for I'm not.

Lonely?
A thousand naked amorous ones dwell in ancient caves
Beneath my eyelids.

Riches?
Here's a pick,
My whole body is an emerald that begs,
"Take me."

Write all that worries you on a piece of parchment;
Offer it to God.
Even from the distance of a millenium

I can lean the flame in my heart
Into your life

And turn
All that frightens you
Into holy
Incense
Ash.

~ The Gift: Poems by Hafiz the great Sufi master
Translations by Daniel Ladinsky

Thank you, apples.

2010-11-18T16:34:00.001-08:00

Yesterday I went apple picking with friend Josh of Neighborhood Harvest here in Ashland. We picked the remaining yellow apples from a good climbing tree using ladder and apple pickers with extension handles. We ended up with 2 boxes of sweet apples. This afternoon, I made apple sauce - just apples cut into small pieces cooked in water and sprinkled with a pinch of pink himalayan salt and a little powdered cinnamon. Such a warm feeling to be out in the fresh air harvesting fruit with friends. I like seeing how things grow.

Yellow apples with their green tomato, potato, and onion buddies

Renshuu　練習

2010-11-12T16:51:00.004-08:00

A friend from taiko class came over this afternoon to practice taiko with me. She brought her bachi (drum sticks for taiko) and her practice drum made from PVC pipe (with real cow skin head). I used my djembé and bachi because that is the drum I have. The djembé's diameter and height are both smaller and shorter than the practice taiko we use in class, but is fine for simple rhythm practice. We practiced the song "renshuu" over and over, smiling with delight as we produced the rhythms together. We spoke the special taiko words - kuchishowa - for the sounds that are made on the drum and laughed.

Golden Leaf Gym

2010-11-11T22:13:00.003-08:00

An invigorating romp through the leaves
and standing-like-a-tree exercises at the park.

Membership in this golden leaf gym: free; benefits: priceless!

getting darker earlier now

2010-11-08T22:18:00.005-08:00

Today I saw a three-legged deer on my way to taiko class. It was already getting dark in the late afternoon when I was bicycling, bicycling and making up songs as I rode. She was standing quietly under a yellow-leafed tree, this deer who walked gracefully on three. I saw that her fourth leg, which resembled a curled tree branch, was tucked high beneath her chest. After a few moments, a deer with antlers appeared behind her and they walked across the street to where the raspberry bushes edge a wide field of grass.

Don doku don don.

Why All This Talk?

2010-11-04T22:20:00.003-07:00

Why all this talk of the Beloved,
Music and dancing,

And Liquid ruby-light we can lift in a cup?

Because it is low tide,
A very low tide in this age
And around most hearts.

We are exquisite coral reefs,
Dying when exposed to strange
Elements.

God is the wine-ocean we crave--
We miss

Flowing in and out of our
Pores.

~ The Subject Tonight Is Love: 60 Wild and Sweet Poems of Hafiz; Daniel Ladinsky, translator

2010-11-03T21:27:00.002-07:00

This tree shared its light with me
today, as I stood under it, quietly, like a tree.

dear deer

2010-11-01T21:14:00.004-07:00

I saw deer in the darkness tonight as I came to the part of the hill where I hop off my bike. Three of them. I could see their long ears parallel to the ground as they grazed alongside the houses on the hill. I was still repeating don doku don doku, kara kara kara kara from taiko class, exhilarated from the rhythms and the bicycle ride home.

I VOTE FOR YOU FOR GOD

2010-10-20T17:52:00.003-07:00

When your eyes have found the strength
To constantly speak to the world
All that is most dear
To your own
Life,

When your hands, feet and tongue
Can perform in that rare unison
That comforts this longing earth
With the knowledge

Your soul,
Your soul has been groomed
In His city of love;

And when you can make others laugh
With jokes
That belittle no one
And your words always unite,

Hafiz
Does vote for you.

Hafiz will vote for you to be
The minister of every country in
This universe.

Hafiz does vote for you my dear.
I vote for you
To be
God.

from The Gift: Poems by Hafiz, the Great Sufi Master Translations by Daniel Ladinsky

I Took It as a Sign

2010-10-15T15:17:00.002-07:00

Someone sent a band to my house,
And it started playing
At five in the morning.

I took this as a sign
God wanted me singing!
Then the moon joined in
And a few of the tenor-voiced stars,

And the earth offered its lovely belly
As a drum

Before I knew it,
I realized
All human beings could be happy

If they just had a few music lessons
From a Sweet Old Maestro
Like Hafiz.

From I Heard God Laughing: Poems of Hope and Joy
Renderings of Hafiz by Daniel Ladinsky

Today's AbunDance

2010-10-12T15:14:00.004-07:00

Did the AbunDance at the Farmer's Market today :))

I traded little paintings created especially for the purpose of trading for fruits and vegetables with the farmers... So-o satisfying and fun! The photo shows today's bounty. Broccoli, mustard greens, daikon greens, Russian kale, red potatoes, yellow potatoes, and another type whose name I have forgotten, two kinds of red onions and a little yellow onion, cantaloupe, tomatoes, red peppers and purple peppers, hot little chile peppers, butternut squash, strawberry/chocolate mousse, and dark rye bread.

Thanks! The container in the upper right with a pink something inside, contained the most delicious Chocolate Berry Mousse, a raw dessert by local company, Body Love Raw Food. Under the pink strawberry fluffiness was the chocolate fluffiness.

The square shape in plastic next to the pink container is dark rye bread from Sammy's.

Greens from, Eric, and Carl, and Quinn, and melons from Antonio... I love this exchange of joyful energies.

Here are the paintings I traded:

for veggies ~

for melons:

for veggies:

for another loaf of bread (not pictured) ~

and

for the Strawberry-Chocolate Mousse (an offering of which Ganesh would surely approve :)

Coffee Press

2010-10-06T19:37:00.002-07:00

You can press me
and still,
my essence
will ring true

~ Nicole Raisin Stern

shikantaza

2010-10-04T17:44:00.003-07:00

just sit
just sip
the tea is full
then empty
pour again
drink it up
just sit
just sip

~NRS

秋

2010-09-05T14:10:00.002-07:00

Autumn wind moves the trees
fresh air
cool breeze ~

No more Yuki

2010-04-02T07:15:00.006-07:00

Yuki, my sweet, little Eskimo dog, left this world on April 1st, 2010. Yuki went "to sleep" while I held him in my arms at the veterinarian's. The euthanasia was administered gently, quickly, and painlessly. It was time.

Yuki was my constant companion for 17 years, best friend to Jesse, his cat sister, and big wise brother to little Bodhi, his kitten brother. Now, Bodhi, Jesse, and Yuki are all together again.

My furry family is no more. They were the best.

Yuki was born in February, 1993 and left gently on April 1st, 2010.

Thank you, Yuki, forever.

The Yuki Set

Yuki-chan

2010-03-21T10:53:00.003-07:00

It's a beautiful morning again today, with the scent of orange blossoms wafting in the slightly cool breeze. Yuki is out in front of the house where we are staying; he sniffs the air and stares in one direction for a long time. He stands open-eyed with that quizzical, curious expression on his face that we call "adorable", yet I think his stance and look really spell confusion; he cannot hear anymore nor can he see with clarity. I am guessing that his eyes only sense shapes and shadows.

Yuki cannot hear the birdsong that I call beautiful and he turns around in circles when we walk, unsure of which direction to go, even when I think he will be able to follow my loud guiding claps. He cannot. In the standard dog-to-human calculation of age that we do, Yuki is 119 years old (17 in dog years) - an old man! Yuki has been my dog since I first met one of his puppy siblings at the tender and fluffy age of five weeks, and knew I must have one. Yuki resembled a snowball - hence, the fitting name of "snow" in Japanese: Yuki. We have been with each other all this time.

Dr. Vasant Merchant, Humanities Teacher Extraordinaire

2010-03-07T16:57:00.007-08:00

I was up in Flagstaff recently (late February, 2010) and went to see the peace shrine that Dr. Merchant had created at her colorful house on the hill. Her house always reminded me of Himalayan homes I have seen (in pictures) that are hand painted and decorated with Gods, Goddesses and symbols of Peace and Beauty. Dr. Merchant painted and created the beautiful peace shrine with the help of friends and former students over the years.

I was fortunate to have been a student of Vasant Merchant while at Northern Arizona University (NAU) in Flagstaff. I took all the Humanities and Religion classes that I could from her in my time at NAU and in Flagstaff (1979 - 1985).

After I moved away, I'd occasionally drop in to say hello and also to participate in a few special events at her house (for example, to commemorate Gandhiji, or Sri Aurobindo, Dr. Merchant's lifetime guru). In this "dog-eat-dog world" some may question the value of a liberal arts or humanities program, but I do not. Thanks to Dr. Merchant and her courses, thousands of us learned about world cultures and religions, especially those of India and the Middle East.

Dr. Merchant's courses attracted the international students of NAU, the non-traditional students (i.e., older students), and many of the Native American students on campus. She honored our learning, our language interests, always was curious to know what we were reading, cared about our individual learning styles and personalities, and was devoted to helping us expand our hearts and minds, which is one grand purpose of a Humanities education.

Dr. Merchant had donated to the Northern Arizona University Library a set of the translations of the Upanishads into French and English by Sri Aurobindo and the Mother. I remember reading some of these, sitting on the floor in the stacks, wanting to absorb something of this -- or her -- wisdom (and certainly of the wisdom of India and of Asia). In Dr. Merchant's classes, I first learned of Sufism ~ the esoteric heart of Islam, as she called it ~ and thus began my study and practice of Sufism.

Aum - OM or Pranah

Om is the Aksara, or imperishable syllable. Om is the Universe, and is the textposition of Om. The past, the present and the future, all that was, all is, all that will be is Om. Likewise all else that may exist beyond the bounds of time, that too is Om.

** Translated by Sri Aurobindo from Mandukya Upanishad.

The above photo was handwritten in Dr. Merchant's very distinct hand writing that I recall so well from her classes. Often, she would write favorite quotations on the blackboard, lines of poems and other bits of wonderful wisdom by writers, sages, scientists, teachers, thinkers, poets, and philosophers of the world and down through the ages. I clearly remember one of Dr. Merchant's favorite lines from Bengali writer Rabindranath Tagore:

Let my Love, like Sunlight, surround you and yet Give you Illumined freedom.

Underneath the quote she had written Tagore's date of birth and death (1861-1941), along with the year he was awarded the Nobel Prize for Literature for Gitanjali, 1913, and that he was the first Asian to win this prize (and the first non-European).

It was through Dr. Merchant's illustration and lecture on the lotus that I first became aware of the symbolism of the lotus and that we humans are like lotuses. The lotus that so beautifully opens up to the expansive sky, has its roots in and grows out of swampy, murky waters.

I also remember when our entire class went out to the movies together to watch the Flagstaff premiere of the movie, Gandhi. I remember memorizing Rudyard Kipling's poem, IF, because she handed it out to us and because I really liked it. I also read Plato and Socrates in her class... and learned of the international school at Auroville in Pondicherry, India, where the students all learned their various "subjects" through the medium of several languages, such as French and Hindi for literature, English for History, German (and maybe French, too) for Science, and Sanskrit for the sacred chants and literature of India. The students and teachers all began their day doing yoga together and they ate vegetarian meals sitting in the shade of a circle of trees... these are some things I remember from my classes with Dr. Merchant.

In 1995, an Indian friend from my high school days in the Chicago area, came to visit me in Tucson. We went on a camping trip up north to Oak Creek Canyon and then to the Grand Canyon. We drove in my little red Geo Metro 4-door hatchback and took Yuki along, who was only 2 years old at the time. My friend, Suketu, and I stopped in Flagstaff to visit with Dr. Merchant. We took her out for sushi and she took us back to her house to make us some puris for the road. When I had signed up for my first class with Dr. Merchant, which I think was in 1981, I had excitedly written Suketu to tell him of the Indian professor who I was drawn to for no other reason than that she was Indian. In my letter, I described a rather large woman dressed very colorfully in a sari with thick black hair piled up atop her head, decorated with plastic flowers and wearing bright red lipstick. I told how I had met her. It was class registration time at NAU, which took place on the indoor track. Professors sat at tables placed all around the track and we students walked around the track to sign up and/or find out more about the courses. I was heading for a table when out of the corner of my eye, I saw Dr. Merchant. Right then, I changed direction and walked straight to her table and signed up. The rest is history. I took every class that i could with her. My description of Dr. Merchant made Suketu laugh with warmth, for he recognized instantly that this was Auntie Vasant, a colleague of his fathers when Suketu was a young boy. I've always had "this thing" for India... and this was yet another happy coincidence to bring the wisdom of India to me.

I am sure that, like me, thousands of NAU students have similar tales of being inspired to delve further into their hearts' interests by Dr. Merchant's skilful and enthusiastic sharing of many religions and cultures. Most of all, Dr. Merchant loved peace. She devoted her scholarship and insights to nurturing peace as the editor and publisher of the International Journal of Humanities and Peace (IJPH). In the shrine to peace she built outside her home, the phrase, May Peace Prevail on Earth in many languages of the world is inscribed in black on long white placards and posted to poles and on the eaves of her colorful house at the top of her hilltop street in the pines. Here, St. Francis, Ganesh, Hanuman, Saraswati, Sita, Ram, a peacock, et al, coexist. Here, Hebrew, Hopi, Arabic, French, Gaelic, Chinese, Russian, Zulu, Hindi, etc, intermingle. As in her humanities classes, the peace shrine offers a microcosm of internationality where each distinct culture ~ and language ~ is celebrated and allowed to be. I remember an article I read in Dr. Merchant's IJPH began something like this: "Peace is not merely the absence of war." The article invited readers to inquire into the meaning(s) of peace. I believe that Dr. Merchant's legacy is that we - all of us - continue to discover ways to nurture peace in ourselves, in our families, in our communities, between nation-states, and in the world. How do we do this?

Here are some of my ideas to create peace:

Celebrate-explore-inquire-learn-dance-draw-paint-sing-recite-write-teach-open-share-commune-speak-listen-whirl-chant-honor-create-have faith-invite doubt-laugh-think-let go-grow-inspire-aspire-reach out-take in-give-accept-forgive-nurture-nourish-cultivate-understand-build-dream-leap-fly-land-breathe in-breathe out-read-expand-desire-co-create-rejuvenate

≈ Thank you, Dr. Merchant ≈

Vasant V. Merchant, professor emeritus of humanities, died May 8, 2009, in Sedona, Arizona. She was 76.

Dr. Merchant was born Sept. 11, 1933, in Bombay, India. She earned bachelor’s and master’s degrees from the University of Bombay, a master’s degree from the University of Minnesota and a doctorate from the University of Southern California.
She taught humanities and religious studies at NAU from 1966 until her retirement in 1995.

Dr. Merchant was Editor/Publisher of The International Journal of Humanities and Peace (IJHP).

Slide Show of Dr. Merchant's Peace Shrine

Dr. Merchant's Peace Shrine, Photo Set on Flickr

Happy Year of the TIGER

2010-02-13T11:47:00.005-08:00

Mandala

2010-01-24T10:37:00.004-08:00

My mandala... heals me.

Creating circles and mandalas is a self-healing practice. It is one way to literally draw yourself into being, to feel that we have our place in the cosmos amongst the other living beings and things.

I often come to the circle drawing empty, not sure where to begin, sometimes feeling burdened by thoughts. I enter the circle and let it draw me in... I leave feeling whole again and healed.

Mandalas are found in nature and in the nourishment we dish into our bowls, cups, and plates. Look around and you will see that mandalas abound. We live on a living breathing mandala! Caring for our planet Earth through the cultivation of gardens and plants is another way to draw yourself into the mandala ~ the circle of life.

*

Here are a few mandalas in my Mandala Set on flickr.

Ode to Jesse

2010-01-19T10:53:00.007-08:00

Jesse =^.^= the Wonder Kitty
Autumn, 1995-January 14, 2010

Jesse was born in 1995; my friend Darci and I got her from the Humane Society when she was 6 weeks old. She loves Yuki, nori, salmon, hunting lizards and birds, and napping. Jesse and Yuki were a pair.

In her 15 years, Jesse travelled a lot with Yuki and me and Darci. Jesse lived and/or travelled in/to Athens, Georgia; Tucson, Arizona; Monterey, California; Charlottesville, Virginia; Northern New Mexico; Ashland, Oregon; and to Ojai and Santa Paula, California. Jesse's formal name was Jesse Jane,

Jesse was a great camper and spent time camping with us in the mountains of Northern Arizona, at the Grand Canyon, through the South (Georgia, Mississippi, Tennessee, Alabama, Texas), on the Central Coast of California and in Mendocino County.

Jesse loved rolling in the dirt, napping in the sun, and roaming through the tall grasses like a petite panther or a silky jaguar. She enjoyed laying on my chest or sleeping curled up next to Yuki or me. Jesse loved her big dog brother, Yuki, and often kissed and licked his nose, face, and feet!

Before Jesse, I had never been so close to a cat or even another animal... Yuki and I are close, of course, but Jesse and I were different. When I painted or wrote, Jesse would lay on my shoulders and she'd helped me pick out colors.

I hand-fed Jesse for a few moments everyday. Some of her favorite foods were: broccoli, brown rice, kabocha squash, salmon, sardines, nori, kim, cauliflower, and tuna.

Jesse always waited outside for me to come home whenever I had been gone. Or if inside, she would stick her little head up into the window ~ she always knew when i was approaching, even if I was on foot or on bicycle and not in my car.

Our new kitty, Bodhi, loved his big sister, even though Jesse did not feel quite the same way... However, they were compatible travel cats as we travelled in our car through many states together.

Thank you, Jesse, for always and for everything. We Love you so much.

Enjoy more Jesse photos at the Jesse Set

Enjoy more Jesse & Yuki together photos at the Yuki & Jesse Together Set

The power of feeling and pretending in the Practice of the Way

2010-01-16T16:08:00.011-08:00

I'm thinking a lot these days about the link between my thinking and feeling of things and what I experience - my so-called 'reality'. In my own experience, I see that the power of feeling/thinking trumps reality. In other words, what I think and feel creates my experiences of reality. More and more, I am choosing to use my thoughts and feelings in the service of becoming, manifesting, and learning all that I want to become, manifest, and learn. I say, why wait for a certain event or condition to feel joyous, healthy, and abundant in all ways? With continual practice, I experience being joy-filled now. I feel the great, good health that I enjoy now, and I give thanks for all the wonderful abundance that is mine here and now, and so on.

I learned from Thich Nhat Hanh that "there is no way to peace, peace is the way." That is, we must feel, practice, and pretend that the peace is inside of us (because it is), even in those times when the 'reality' outside of us claims otherwise. There is no way to happiness, happiness is the way. If we want to change reality, we must become the change we want to see (to paraphrase M.K. Gandhi), and to live what we want to change even while living in and with what we are wanting to change, is none other than the Practice of the Way. In his teaching, Tibetan Buddhist master Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche used the metaphor of the Great Eastern Sun: "hold the sadness and pain of samsara in your heart and at the same time the power and vision of the Great Eastern Sun. Then the warrior can make a proper cup of tea." And if you know me, that's the main thing, a proper cup of tea :)

About the image:
This is teapot no. 11 (311) in my 100 Teapots Series, Set 4,
"The Book of tea and light infusion: written by God" (though it looks like Goo)

Watercolor and red fountain pen ink on 180 lb. Arches cold pressed paper
© Nicole Raisin Stern

Tea on Dash

2010-01-09T16:21:00.007-08:00

"Tea on Dash" is teapot painting no. 55 in Set 4 of my 100 Teapot series paintings. I like painting my tea as I drink it.

No Coming, No Going

2009-12-16T17:51:00.007-08:00

I titled this watercolor I made of Jesse & Yuki, No Coming, No Going, after a song by Sister Annabel Laity:

♫♫♪♫♫♪♫♫

No coming, no going, no after, no before;
I hold you close to me, I release you to be so free.
Because I am in you, and you are in me,
Because I am in you, and you are in me.

Here's the French version by Lily Gozlan:

Sans venir, et sans partir, ni avant, ni après.
Je te tiens près de moi, et te laisse pour être libre
Parce que je suis en toi, et tu es en moi,
Parce que je suis en toi, et tu es en moi.

♫♫♪♫♫♪♫♫

AbunDance

2009-10-31T18:17:00.003-07:00

Today was the last Saturday Farmer's Market here in Ashland, Oregon. For three months, I have been eating the most nutritious delicious fresh organic produce from the farmers of the Rogue Valley. I appreciate the willingness of the farmers to trade their beautiful fruits & vegetables for my paintings and drawings; such a luscious trade of energies for which I am grateful!

≈ Celebrating Bodhi ≈

2009-10-29T08:24:00.007-07:00

Bodhi, little happiness bringer, thank you for your joyful, confident light!

Bodhi came into this world one year ago today (29th of October, 2008). We met the next day.

For the first eight months of Bodhi's life, I posted photos often to flickr and created a Bodhi Set. Then...

On June 21st, 2009, in New Mexico, while Yuki, Jesse, Bodhi, and I were camping, Bodhi disappeared. He got spooked by the rumbling sound of a diesel engine in the campground. Although Bodhi was wearing a harness which was attached to a leash, tied with five knots to the picnic table, and in my arms at the time, he wriggled out -- to be free and safe from the scary sound. That was the last time we saw him. I had been feeding all of them a special treat of sardines at the time, hand-feeding little Bodhi, in my arms. I spent 2 weeks looking for Bodhi, staying at the campground and in the area, but he did not reappear.

I feel that Bodhi is still alive. I feel this everyday very strongly. We have talked. I also feel that Bodhi is happy and healthy, very playful and confident, just as he was when we were together physically.

At first, when he burst out of his harness like a bucking bronco, I was stunned. My arms were also scratched up and bleeding (but it didn't hurt). It all happened so quickly that I did not see which way he went or where he went. It's as if he exploded or burst into the sky and vanished.

When I did my daily searches for him -- walking and hiking in the area, talking to people, calling to him, registering at the local animal shelter, putting sardines into the have-a-heart-trap I borrowed, putting up posters, driving the nearby highway, etc. -- I sometimes thought I saw him. Is that Bodhi? A certain playful curl of a flattened rope or rag on the road made me stop to take a closer look; a black dumbbell on a bench seen from the window of a friend's camper looked like Bodhi in loaf position playfully waiting for me to see him.

~*~

I am not sad anymore. My heart expands with joy and gratitude whenever I imagine Bodhi. I feel Bodhi's utter confidence and lightness of being, and his playfulness and joy as my own joy... his best qualities seem to have strengthened those same attributes in my being and personality. Maybe I have become a great tree-climber, too! I have yet to test that one out... :)

Bodhi enjoyed a wonderful life with us, first in our home in Tucson, then across the country on our drive to Virginia and to Maggie's, and then again, across the country on our drive to New Mexico with Yuki and Jesse. During our 3-1/2 month stay in Virginia, Bodhi was best buds with Jasper, Maggie's 16-year old black cat. Jasper and Bodhi played together everyday. Bodhi enjoyed Maggie's kind care and loving attention, too. In particular, he liked that Maggie allowed him to curl up inside her large clay bowls (see below photo).

Bodhi nursed with Moxie, his tortoise shell mother, for a full 8 weeks, longer than any of his siblings. All the kittens lived, cuddled, and played together in Tucson at Moxie's house (just a hop and a skip from my house) with my neighbors Therese and José Luís.

Bodhi distinguished himself as an excellent climber early on, so much, that Therese and José Luís gave him the nickname of "Spider." I knew Bodhi was Bodhi from the first time I saw him, an awake one (from the Sanskrit root word, Bodh, meaning 'awake'). Bodhi's full name is Bodhi Seed "Spider" Stern.

I don't actually know if Bodhi is alive or dead. I feel he is alive and that he has good cat survival skills to enable him to live well in the mountains of Northern New Mexico. He was unusually smart and quick, a great climber, very curious and playful, and a happy, happy kitten with sharp claws with which to climb and hunt. Coyotes and foxes live in the area where we were camped. However, I believe that Bodhi's sharp claws and excellent tree-climbing ability have served him well. There are plenty of little animals (i.e., rodents) that Bodhi could hunt and also some houses in the area where he might have been taken in and/or where he could find food and shelter if he wants it. I see Bodhi enjoying his free life; I see him as happy.

The morning that Bodhi broke out of his harness, he was kissing and licking my face as we lay inside the tent, kissing me as he always did in the mornings. I kissed his soft furry chest and actually took some pictures of us and him, plus Yuki and Jesse. A little while later he was gone.

Maybe he missed us at first, like I missed him at first... But he is a cat and his survival skills are strong.

Maybe he will reappear. Maybe not. The shelter has a file on him and knows how to contact me if he is found. It could happen. And, when I talk to him, I tell him to let himself be found and brought to the shelter so we can come and bring him home.

Anyway, I am celebrating Bodhi today. I am so grateful we had 8 beautiful months together.

Happy Continuation Day, Happiness Bringer. Thank You

We love you, little Bodhi-chan.

A deciduous autumn

2009-10-27T11:45:00.006-07:00

Drinking Ti Kuan Yin Oolong out of my everyday porcelain kyuusu with the sound of raindrops all around. Cool air, warm socks, hot tea, furry friends, colored pencils, watercolors, paper, and the swooping call of a bird. Wet, brown and yellow leaves are plastered to the green grass outside. A deciduous autumn.

eNvisioNing, N-less, eN-ee-way

2009-10-02T14:18:00.009-07:00

The "N" key on my laptop is not working. In order to type an N, now, I have to copy and paste large and small "N"s or use the π sign for my πame, like so: ∏icole. Maybe if I turn the Z key around, I would get an N...

Missing the N shows me that "N"s appear often in words and it reminded me of a book I'd heard about, in which the author purposely wrote his story without using the letter E at all.

Joyous

2009-09-13T09:30:00.007-07:00

I-I-I-I-I-I-I (spoken sing-song like the Angel in Tony Kushner's Angels in America)

am

drinking

a

cup

of

oolong tea

from a

teapot

and the wind

is blowing

-- or --

Is it the

leaves that are blowing?

A Zen master said

it is our minds that are moving...

Next to the teapot is a beautiful orange-y ripe peach with red markings -- but not for long -- 'cuz I'm going to devour this juicy wonder. I will take a photo of it first, Just in case I want to paint it. I read once that Mme. Matisse (Henri's wife) would become angry with Henri for bringing home beautiful fruits and vegetables when she thought they were poor. Instead of eating them, he'd arrange a still-life. By the time Henri finished the painting, most of the fruits had become soft and old. I like that story, first, because of the Spirit to create and the emanations of Light and Color that surged through him and the fruit, second, because Henri knew he was rich beyond measure to be so inSpired, enThused, and inFused with Light and Color, and thirdly, because I like to imagine Henri in his suit painting (he always painted wearing a suit jacket and trousers) in a stream of light at a wooden table where a bowl of fruit glowed for him.

The Wisdom of Wind, the Power of Trees

2009-09-06T12:23:00.008-07:00

Today is Sunday.

The air is different today than yesterday. The leaves are swishing more and it feels cooler and more like Autumn. As I begin writing this entry, I am listening to Krishna Das singing these words from his Door of Faith CD, "I have found a way to live in the presence of the Lord..." interspersed with the chant, "Rama Rama Rama Sita Rama Rama Ram...."

I feel relieved when the CD comes to an end, as KD's singing competes with my writing mind. Right on cue, the mower that's been droning nearby stops, too. Ahhhhhh, just the sounds of swishing leaves now, melodic wind chimes, and the scratchy lapping up sound of Yuki's tongue licking a bit of coconut oil from a plastic tarp.

There are other sounds, too -- high bird chirpings, voices of neighbors coming in and out of range, the metal on metal sound of screen doors opening and closing, crunchy leaves on cement patio being swept by a broom, the occasional car driving past, staccato tweet tweet tweet of a bird, and the swirling sweetness of wind chimes. The overriding sound I hear, though, is that of Autumn: the music that trees and bushes make as wind circulates around and through leaf and branch, down to their roots, massaging their trunks.

"Soon it will be time for us to be quiet," they say. "For now, let us dance and sing and enjoy the rush of wind on our stems, bark, and leaves."

Who's Kissing Who? (image from my 52 Weeks Set on flickr)

Sound does that.

2009-08-22T13:45:00.003-07:00

Walking through Lithia Park yesterday without Yuki... Around one of the ponds, a cellist had set up and was playing Bach so beautifully. People were sitting on benches, listening with eyes closed, while others were picnicking. A man was at his easel painting in oils... Such a gorgeous moment with the light, deep green of tall trees, sparkles on water, and the sound of cello weaving us all together.

perfect glowing greenness

2009-08-12T15:54:00.002-07:00

The grapes of my body can only become wine 
After the winemaker tramples me.
 I surrender my spirit like grapes to his trampling 
So my inmost heart can blaze and dance with joy.
 Although the grapes go on weeping blood and sobbing 
"I cannot bear any more anguish, any more cruelty"
The trampler stuffs cotton in His ears:
"I am not working in ignorance
 You can deny me if you want, you have every excuse, 
But it is I who am the Master of this Work.
 And when, through my Passion, you reach perfection, 
You will never be done praising my name."

Rumi (not sure who the translator was; this poem came to me in an email without citation -- maybe Coleman Barks??)

Some kind of gestation...

2009-08-12T15:33:00.005-07:00

It's been 9 months since my last post and... Here I am (Hineni).

I am in Oregon where there is no such thing as self-service gas, a gas attendant pumps it for you. I like that -- no fumes to breathe in and no gas smells on my hands. Other things I like: yummy, sweet blackberries growing all over, environmental awareness, trees, the mountains here in Ashland, the ocean and wide beaches of the Northern coast, friendly, friendly people, and all the arts and culture here in Ashland. Now to learn what other edibles grow wild around here.

My new little munchkin, Bodhi

2009-01-09T12:24:00.003-08:00

Bodhi was born on October 29th, 2008 and came to live with Jesse, Yuki, and me on New Year's Eve. I first met him when he was barely 2 days old. I've been taking photos of him from day 2 (and through all his gender changes, which you can find out about when/if you read my flickr posts within the Bodhi Set).

Happiest New Year 2009 to All, 明けましておめでとうございます！Every day is a good day!

Ganesha comes to the Desert

2008-12-18T12:18:00.003-08:00

Listening to Krishna Das chanting the Hanuman Chalisa on this cold (for Tucson) late autumn day. I look up from the keyboard and see chartreuse green leaves of the mesquite and the green trunk of palo verde. The sky is blue with white cloud puffs hanging. Low-hanging clouds are obscuring the top halves of all the mountains around here. I will see soon when i go out to do some errands if there's snow on the mountains. I like snow.

inner strength, trust

2008-11-07T12:45:00.004-08:00

If fear is part of growth, how do we develop inner strength and how do we develop trust?

Trust is a very important part of the spiritual journey. Not trust in a particular outcome, but trust that you can open to the present moment. And we don't just automatically have that trust; it's something that we develop... [through/with]... mindfulness.

~Pema Chödrön, Noble Heart.

magic star & butterfly

2008-10-26T10:51:00.002-07:00

teapot no. 243 (no. 43 of the third set of 100 teapots)

~*~

2008-10-26T08:56:00.005-07:00

Sitting in front of the open window with my palo verde and mesquite tree friends and some cholla and prickly pear cactus. I'm wrapped up in a wool shawl, sipping oolong tea out of my newest little teapot. Turtle beans are cooking in a big pot in the kitchen. Their overnight soaking water had turned purple-y this morning ... would make a fine textile dye, I thought, but fed the water to the rosemary bush instead.

Jesse just crossed the wide space between my house and the neighbor's. she looks around, crouches down, and scurries across to the safety of a porch. The squatty pipes on D's house look like a Buddha and her recently trimmed trellis vine looks like a sadhuni's trident. Tree branch and cactus pads cast angel shadows and reach toward the blue sky. Good to feel the blessings that abound and see the angels all around. Out into the day now ~ will walk with Yuki, feed the baby mesquite tree, plant wildflower seeds, bicycle over to the pottery studio for open lab, and pick up a mop on my way home... it's a beautiful day.

a selection of my recent paintings, handmade books, and pottery

2008-09-28T08:05:00.007-07:00

teapot paintings ~ 233-237

2008-07-29T15:24:00.004-07:00

See the growing collection here

recent teapot paintings (227-232)

2008-06-30T10:44:00.003-07:00

[this is the inverted version of teapot no. 32 ~ colors digitally inverted]

tea & oranges ~ teapot no. 26 (226)

2008-06-03T13:43:00.002-07:00

***

Suzanne

Suzanne takes you down to her place near the river
You can hear the boats go by
You can spend the night beside her
And you know that she's half crazy
But that's why you want to be there
And she feeds you tea and oranges
That come all the way from China
And just when you mean to tell her
That you have no love to give her
Then she gets you on her wavelength
And she lets the river answer
That you've always been her lover
And you want to travel with her
And you want to travel blind
And you know that she will trust you
For you've touched her perfect body with your mind.
And Jesus was a sailor
When he walked upon the water
And he spent a long time watching
From his lonely wooden tower
And when he knew for certain
Only drowning men could see him
He said "All men will be sailors then
Until the sea shall free them"
But he himself was broken
Long before the sky would open
Forsaken, almost human
He sank beneath your wisdom like a stone
And you want to travel with him
And you want to travel blind
And you think maybe you'll trust him
For he's touched your perfect body with his mind.

Now Suzanne takes your hand
And she leads you to the river
She is wearing rags and feathers
From Salvation Army counters
And the sun pours down like honey
On our lady of the harbour
And she shows you where to look
Among the garbage and the flowers
There are heroes in the seaweed
There are children in the morning
They are leaning out for love
And they will lean that way forever
While Suzanne holds the mirror
And you want to travel with her
And you want to travel blind
And you know that you can trust her
For she's touched your perfect body with her mind.

~lyrics by Leonard Cohen

teapots 222, 223, 224, & 225

2008-05-28T22:29:00.005-07:00

teapots 218, 219, 220, 221

2008-05-25T15:03:00.002-07:00

Tea with Nuestra Señora y Gatita (teapot no. 21/221):

Tea with Ganesha (teapot no. 20/220):

Kanzeon no Chamise (teapot no. 19/219):

Tea with Lizard (teapot no. 18/218):

new teapot paintings - nos. 215, 216, 217

2008-05-18T18:48:00.003-07:00

See my three teapot sets here:

3rd Set of 100 Teapots
[13 Dec. 2007 & resumed 11 May 2008 - ]

2nd Set of 100 Teapots
[8 Dec. 2006 - 31 Oct. 2007]

1st Set of 100 Teapots
[22 Dec. 2005 - 2 Oct. 2006]

May All Beings Be Nourished

2008-05-09T14:02:00.017-07:00

Breeze of delight

2008-05-07T19:22:00.004-07:00

Here are some friends we met on our walk today ~

it's May now :)

2008-05-02T14:03:00.004-07:00

Up early this morning, I smiled at the pink and orange streaks in the sky through the openings between prickly pear pads. Got dressed, drank some cool rooibos tea with rose petals floating in it from last night that i left on my dresser. Yuki and I walked out into the day.

happy April!

2008-04-01T09:57:00.003-07:00

the Sun in our hearts

2008-03-21T09:55:00.004-07:00

~Nature mirrors the growth inside us~

It's Springtime!!!

HapPy Year of the Rat

2008-02-07T12:22:00.000-08:00

Continuum. 2007 to 2008 and beyond!

2007-12-31T09:53:00.000-08:00

From Turtle Tranquility Temple,
at this end-of-the-year
beginning-of-the-new-year cusp,
Yuki, Jesse, and I wish all our friends
(and all beings)
continued good health, abundance, and contentment.

May we always remember
our lives, this earth, our universe,
all beings, and all events with Gratitude-Appreciation-and-Joy.
From 2007 into 2008 with Love.

明けましておめでとうございます！
皆様、今年もどうぞよろしくお願いいたします。

The Real Work

2007-12-26T15:51:00.000-08:00

[click on the image to see it enlarged]

The poem below is a recycling of a post from July 2005 and feels appropriate for this moment in my life. Dedicated with love to everyone I love. I've paired it with the above drawing I did about three years ago. I put this drawing out to the universe as my "build it and they will come" desire. I want to build a school where language learning and arts and hands-on projects are everyday inspirations. Draw it and it will manifest??

The Real Work

It may be that when we no longer know what to do
we have come to our real work,
and that when we no longer know which way to go
we have come to our real journey.
The mind that is not baffled is not employed.
The impeded stream is the one that sings.

~Wendell Berry (Collected Poems)

If you are reading this and have lots of money (or fund-raising ability), inspiration, creativity, and community spirit to contribute to the building of this school, let's talk. Until then, I'll keep on envisioning this school, drawing it into existence.

Please feel free to follow or join the expanded conversation on my flickr photostream. There you will see more details on my school.

A winter meal

2007-12-25T15:09:00.000-08:00

miso shiru

natto on rice

nori for the natto & rice

steamed kale

takuan (pickles)

tofu with grated daikon, soy sauce, and sprouts

sencha (green tea)

Nolliag Shona Dhuit

2007-12-24T11:49:00.000-08:00

Nolliag Shona Dhuit

I got the idea to post this song from a flickr friend who posted it on her photostream. I had fun singing along with Enya and listening to the Irish Gaelic. Reading the lyrics while listening gave me an idea of the letter-sound relationship (grapho-phonetic correspondence for you TESOL/TFL types).

Enjoy!

full moon night

2007-12-22T19:08:00.000-08:00

[Kyoko Kumai. Wind from the Cloud Wall Hanging. 1992. Stainless steel wire]

The old man who lives down the street from me had a heart attack. I found out tonight when I was walking with Yuki. We walk by the old man's house almost everyday. Tonight, a younger man came out of the old man's house, walked down the steps and past me and Yuki to the street side mailbox. The man looked at me and said he was picking up mail for the man who lived in that house. I nodded. He asked if I knew which mailbox was the old man's and if I knew which key was the mailbox key. I didn't know, but I held out my hand and he gave me the keys. In seconds, I found the right box and the key that fit it. Sometimes other people can help with the small things when big things like heart attacks happen. I just happened to be there, able to jiggle keys, and open a mailbox. The man picking up the mail may have been a relative. As he took the mail, the man said, "he had a heart attack--at my house; he's in critical care at TMC." I nodded. What could I say? I often saw the old man outside planting or weeding; I live down the street. So, that's what I said. The old man is over 80.

* * * *

By the way, if you read my harrumpff posting a few posts ago, you will see that my blogger header image has reverted to its original appearance. Is this a case of computer magic? Or, perhaps another case of "empty boat(ness)." The empty boat story goes something like this:

It was a calm, clear day on a turquoise lake. A woman was out in the middle of the lake in her row boat, contentedly reading a book while slowly drifting on the the calm waters. After a while, the woman saw what looked like a red leaf way off near the other shore. As the leaf moved a little closer, she saw that it was a red houseboat. It was still quite a distance away, so the woman went back to reading. In a few moments, however, she saw that the houseboat was coming straight towards her boat. She started waving her arms frantically and yelling. Doesn't the captain see her? Why isn't it swerving out of the way? As the houseboat crashed into her smaller boat she was still shouting, but she also saw that there was no human aboard. She had been frantically waving her arms at an empty boat.

clear day

2007-12-20T21:07:00.001-08:00

Today I bicycled from my house to epic cafe, enjoying the glorious blue sky and warm sunshine on my face. I've been holed up for the past several days with a head cold, kind of flu-y and fuzzy headed, so being outside felt like a real celebration. I can breath through my left nostril now; a wonderful thing, breathing. Right nostril breathing still to come.

Teapots 10, 11, & 12

2007-12-19T15:10:00.000-08:00

My little cha book is filling up.

Teapot no. 10 (210)

Watercolor and sumi brush pen in my handmade cha book.

Teapot no. 11 (211)

Paper cut outs glued into my handmade cha book.

Teapot no. 10 (210)

Green fountain pen ink (that looks aqua on the pink paper) and watercolored yellow spots.

Teapot 12 & 11 together

teapot nos. 8 & 9

2007-12-17T09:07:00.000-08:00

Teapot no. 9 (209)
Sumi brush pen and watercolor in my handmade cha book.

Teapot no. 8 (208)
Fountain pen & colored pencil drawn inside my handmade cha book.

8 & 9 together in my handmade cha book.

View my newly started 100 Teapots Set 3.