Sunday, October 02, 2005

Dream sharing

Lastnight's dream~
I woke up with these words:

Calculate underlying hidden sacredness

In the half dark, I wrote this down on a piece of scratch paper in red ink and went back to sleep.

Woke up again breathing quickly with my chest/heart feeling the strong beating energy of adrenaline pumping. I felt Jesse by my side and looked at her with relief.

In my dream, I was in a dry river bed or canyon, like the Rillito that is behind Darci's condo, just steps from the backyard. I was with Yuki in the canyon. Suddenly a huge olive-green flow of water came into the river bed towards us. We had to do something. I thought, "we must run." I saw a truck of people being evacuated. I banged on the truck, shouted that we needed help. I looked at the people and the driver but they didn't budge. No one would look at me. They ignored us and drove on.

Magically, we found ourselves on some other truck being driven out of the danger of being swallowed up by the river. But where was Jesse? I realized that she was not with us and I became very sad. Soon we arrived at the ocean front where the evacuation truck left us.
I went with Yuki to the beach, thinking it would feel relieving to walk along the shore to grieve Jesse. Instead, I saw Darci at the water's edge, holding an extremely wet Jesse. Jesse had miraculously, somehow, been rescued and was there waiting for Yuki & I.

I took Jesse and held her sopping wet body and was so happy. Jesse looked like pictures of oil-soaked birds I've seen after an oil tanker spill in Alaska. That's when I woke up and saw that Jesse was by my side, up near my shoulders; Yuki was on the cool tile near the head of the futon couch I sleep on. I felt so thankful that Jesse and Yuki were alive. I am so thankful that I am alive--that we are alive.

I went to my desk to read the dream words I'd written down and had already forgotten:

Calculate underlying hidden sacredness



Jesse on my shoulders while I play chess; c. 1997.
Jesse is less than one year old then.




Yuki on the porch in Athens, Georgia; c. 1997. Yuki is about 4 then.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

hi, Nicole. thanks for sharing your dream.
i was so relieved when i read through and it came to a happy ending.
it is an interesting phrase, "calculate sacredness."
sounds profound.
i liked "Jesse on your shoulders" photo. so cute staring at the camera.
Yuki is beautiful in the sunlight. yes, he is white like snow.
have a good solar eclipse/new moon day!

Nicole Raisin Stern said...

淑子さん (漢字が正しいですか)、
コメントありがとう。はい、ゆきちゃんは雪のようですね。ジェッ市ちゃんはmaukieちゃんとにっているだと思います。
さよなら。

Nicole Raisin Stern said...

間違った。。。
「ジェッ市」じゃなくて、じぇっしを書きたがった。